Iron Man two review

Iron Man two review

Next on MTV

Iron Man two is a film directed by Jon Favreau, written by Justin Theroux and carried by Robert Downey Junior. Adapted from a Marvel comic of the same name the film stars: Robert Downey junior as Tony Stark the billionaire, debonair, playboy. The film begins by estimate a number of months after Tony revealed his identity at the end of the original, we are explained (via montage) that Iron Man is loved by all and helping to maintain world peace.

How Iron Man maintains peace is confusing though...Shooting people in the face with a laser is not exactly a peaceful tactic.

But the American military industrial complex is pressuring Tony to give up the suit and share its powers with the world, Tony brushes it off claiming no one will be able to replicate his suit in the next two or three decades. But loe and behold Mickey Rourke playing a Russian villain (who is by far the most sympathetic character) has replicated his design and made electric whips somehow. Also Tony is being poisoned by his suit, Hammer industries is trying to steal his suit and Nick Shield (Samuel L Jackson!) is trying to recruit Tony into the Avengers team.

Lets get one thing very clear, the main reason I liked this film is because Robert Downey Junior is amazing he is charming, funny, conflicted without being annoying and he gives a fantastic performance. Gwyneth Paltrow is decent as Pepper Pots (Who the hell named her character) and Scarlet Johansson serves her purpose. Mickey Rourke is very good; he certainly has mastered the Russian accent.

There are a few things that annoyed me, when Ivan shows up at a racecourse with his whips he reveals his super power to be, not getting killed by flying shrapnel from explosions of his own creation; he actually went to the trouble of building an arc reactor and doesn’t bother to attach any amour to his body (Somehow a poverty stricken intoxicated Russian builds an Arc Reactor in his shed, when it took Tony Stark like a month and an arms bizarre to build his.)

Oh no we are powerless to shoot at the completely exposed head, arms, shoulders, legs, and delicate looking machinery. Because he has electric whips

There are two villains Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) and Ivan, Justin Hammer is immediately shown as incompetent, and unable to match Stark in any way which causes no feelings of threat in the audience. And Ivan’s master plan is ridiculously obvious from a very early point.

The filming is competent enough, the editing leaves a bit to be desired and the pacing of the fights was not conducive to tension. Make no mistake the action is great, the CGI and explosions are not intrusive or excessively prominent. I think that the M rating holds it back, Samuel L Jackson doesn’t even get to use his catchphrase!

In this film there is a lot of foreshadowing of the coming Avengers/Captain America/Thor films, so some scenes just feel like adds for The Avengers.

Good luck marketing this to an international audience

It occurred to me while watching that if they had just had Downey in a cupboard with a camera and a microphone reading his lines I may well have walked away just as satisfied, I am not saying the level that the film relies on him is a bad thing I mean he is a fantastic actor, he just outshines every one else. The film is a very good effort that matches the original, Downey continues to be one of the more reliable actors in Hollywood and the action is acceptable.

Four stars

Is Richard Kelly worth a damn post Darko?

Is Richard Kelly worth a damn post Darko?

Behold its wonder!

Donnie Darko, was directed and written by Richard Kelly, and it is perhaps the greatest film I have ever seen, it was a pitch perfect exploration of time travel and teenage angst. It has one of the greatest soundtracks of any movie and perfectly captured a period in time. It utilized fantastic casting and acting to bring an incredibly effecting movie that will leaves you in a state of shock. I have watched it around six or seven times. Now Donnie Darko was the first feature length film by Richard Kelly and it's amazingness could have been caused by one of three things.

1. Donnie Darko was a lucky break, it was simply pop science and philosophy with a healthy dollop of angst put into a blender, That against all odds paid off for an inexperienced filmmaker, a good film that won’t be repeated.
2. Donnie Darko was the first outing of a cinematic genius that will take the world by storm churning out amazing cinema and will be known far and wide as a genius.
3. Aliens (I felt I needed three to justify a list)

As much as it makes me sad to say it the answer it seems is number one. As soon as Donnie Darko rose to a cult status the studios were more than happy to bankroll whatever Richard wanted, and that’s how we wound up with Southland Tales (2007).

Kill it with fire!

The film starred Sara Michele Gellar, Justin Timberlake, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Sean William Scott, Mandy Moore and Kevin Smith (and about twenty other b celebs). In short, Southland Tales was a load of sprawling incomprehensible shit. It had the distinct feel of Richard Kelly trying to replicate his prior success with Donnie Darko by stealing (and butchering) themes from it. I actually decided to bar judgment on Richard Kelly for Southland Tales because it was his first miss step and I had a theory that it was all a big middle finger to the MTV generation, and throughout the film it had been subtly taking the piss about republican stereotypes and product placement, and that the only comprehensible moment was purposefully an (actually quite well done) scene in which Justin Timberlake lip synchs to a Killers song.

Oh how wrong I was proved to be when Richard Kelly’s follow up The Box (2009) was released into cinemas.

Not James Marsden! First Buffy now Spike, who's next Willow?

The film was an adaptation of a Richard Matheson novel that had already been done much better by The Twilight Zone. The film again was a load of drivel that was manufactured from the ground up to be ‘deep’ but pulled that off about as well as ‘Deck Dogz’.

He also wrote the tragic Domino which featured Keira Knightley trying to act tough.

Really you saw this and thought 'you know what, she would be good as a bounty hunter'.

Domino was a fairly run of the mill retrograde junk; Keira was so woefully miss cast it almost laughable (perhaps the movie's one saving grace). If you ever watch it there is one scene in particular that is so out of place in the context and feel of the movie it completely takes you out of the moment (you will know what one). But what was plain baffling about Domino was this quote by Richard Kelly. "Domino might be one of the most subversive films released by a major studio since Fight Club". In what way is this film even slightly subversive....because it puts forward the proposition that the ludicrous story actually happened, and thus is an attempt to legitimise deceit and lying, which is already rife in any film with 'based on a true story' written on it?

It is quite clear to me that Richard Kelly indeed does fall into category number one. Every movie post Darko has been a desperate attempt to remake what made Donnie Darko great. He also lessened the impact of the original Donnie Darko with the horrible Directors Cut, and the ‘Philosophy Of Time Travel’ book. He is emulating David Lynch quite a bit, and while he did capture the feel in Donnie Darko, Southland Tales failed in an attempt to be Lynchian for the same reason Twin Peaks failed when David Lynch stopped directing in the middle of the second season. If I had the opportunity to give a bit of advice to Richard Kelly it would be this Stop trying to recreate Donnie Darko and stop trying to follow in the footsteps of David Lynch.

His completely insane footsteps

Movie Review: Fahrenheit 451

After I discovered that an adaptation of Fahrenheit 451 was in development for a 2012 release, I decided to write a review of the first adaption (only fifty years late). Without further ado here it is.

Fahrenheit 451

This is perhaps the best cover ever.

Fahrenheit 451 is a sixties movie based on the novel of the same name by Ray Bradbury. The French Francois Truffaut directs the film. The plot goes as follows Guy Montag (Oskar Werner) is a fireman, whose job it is to burn books (books being banned by the government), in a dystopic authoritarian future, he lives his life in a house with a gigantic TV with a wife (Julie Christi) who watches it non stop. His life is thrown into turmoil when he meets a teacher Clarisse (Julie Christi again for some reason) who tells him to listen to things and talk. He then begins stealing books after he sees a lady choose to burn with her books.

Although I cant say this puts me in the mood for a good book...marshmallows perhaps.

So the plot sounds decent but a film is more than the sum of its parts, the acting is not very good; Guy Montag has an annoying German accent and a monosyllabic voice, Christie is appalling as both Linda and Clarisse. And the shooting! The film is blinding because its always so bright, every where you look is either bright purple or bright red, Guy Montags house looks like Princes love shack! The costume design of the Firemen uniforms is all right even though it is basically a NAZI Gestapo uniform minus the swastikas; I suppose a film can’t be blamed for drawing on NAZI imagery…. look at star wars.

NAZI Uniform

Star wars Republic uniform

The plot is fairly thin and it does a good job of ignoring the central theme of the book, in favour of a government is bad message and the stunning ending of the book is dropped. Really its very existence stands in stark opposition to the message of the original book. So much of the charm and finesse is lost in this tacky rendering.

Much of this film just seems hollow and pretentious, Guys character lacks motivation and the camerawork is uninspired, the attempt to create a futuristic city on such a small budget went about as well as one would expect.

This is a sloppily made film that fails to live up to the classic book, do not watch, simply take a cue from the message as intended and read a book.

Remember these?

Two and a half stars

Review: The Men Who Stare At Goats

The Men Who Stare At Goats

That goat is going places in Hollywood I can feel it, he already has more potential than Miley Cyrus.

The Men Who Stare At goats is a new comedy film directed by Grant Heslov based on a book by Jon Ronson, it stars George Clooney as a former psychic soldier and Ewan McGregor as a reporter following the, possibly insane, Clooney around the Middle East.

The film also features Kevin Spacey as an evil psychic that stands as opposite to the laid back and new agey Clooney.

The film starts with the reported Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) breaking up with his wife, he then travels to Kuwait to write about the Iraq War. On his way there he runs into Lyn Cassidy (Clooney) the self-professed psychic spy, Clooney claims to posses the powers of Remote viewing, telekinesis, the ability to walk through solid objects and says he once killed a goat with his mind.

So a synopsis that’s great! But what you really want to know is, is it any good? And the answer to that is kind of. The comedy is very hit and miss, and often times predictable. This can be excused because the film is driven by plot as much as comedy. But don’t get me wrong there is some legitimately funny moments (mostly from Clooney).

The cinematography is beautiful and in places perfectly captures the vastness of the desert. Suavey Mc Suave, Suave (George Clooney) is one of the most recognised actors in Hollywood for his performances in films like Oceans Eleven and Up In The Air.

He is even charming as a vagrant!

And for these reasons going into the film I had high expectations of him, and he was good, not great. It is understandable; this is not his normal role. If there was one thing he did well in this film it was his timing, the guy was just able to time the jokes perfectly and was able to broadcast his emotions with out being over the top.

The person who was great in this film (despite not having much screen time) was Kevin Spacey, rarely have I been disappointed with his acting finesse, today was no exception. He was playing a less than heroic character. in film His skills at arousing hatred in the audience are hard to match. Though it must be noted he can play sympathetic characters, see American Beauty. On an unrelated note, go watch American Beauty, yeah now. Don't read ahead to see where I am going with this, just go watch it right now, I will wait.

Jeff Bridges plays Bill Dhanjo, the top brass who set up the army psychic training facility, after being shot in Nam. He Is brilliant you really get a sense of his character, and he was legitimately funny, he really was such a well fleshed out character.

All the other actors are all right but don’t warrant too much of a mention

My major qualm with the movie is this; it sets itself up as a true story, it says it’s a true story from the beginning. But then it presents such outlandish situations and shows actual psychic phenomenon. And because of that it brings into question the entire movie. Now certain facts in the movie are true, but when you swirl it round with the speculation and unsubstantiated nonsense it weakens the entire story as a work of non-fiction. And indeed the film is in its stride when it is showing the farcical nature of the ideology subscribed to by the psychics.

But lets be honest they aren't exactly hard comedic targets

The film in a nutshell, weird, quirky, Joel and Ethan Cohenesque and a tad bullshit. Entertaining but take it with a grain of salt.

Three and a half stars

(this counts as tuesdays update.)

Sliding Doors movie review

Review.
Sliding Doors is a romantic comedy. Rom Coms are extremely formulaic so if you want yours to stand out you need a hook. The hook of Sliding doors is this. Gwenthor Paltrows character gets sacked; she attempts to catch a train. Here is where it gets interesting, the movie splits into two distinct parallel realitys in one she catches the train (and meets the charming and Irish John Lynch…and he has an Irish brogue! *swoon*) and finds her hubby John Hannah, in bed with another woman. The second universe she misses the train and ends up not catching them.
The film shows the two universes progressing in tandem, as to highlight the changes. Despite this little innovation the film is pretty stock standard romance, it is not hard to see the twists and turns coming. Gwenthor Paltrow acts horribly; she spends the film switching between two tones and moods, (neither she does well). She is overshadowed by almost every-other character in the film.
The real stand out performance is Jeanne Tripplehorn as Paltrows partners ex wife and mistress (and she has an American accent!). The direction is average; the score is poor bar an excellent choice of song for the end credits. In the end this film is a sub average version of Blind Chance a Polish film that covered a similar premise in a much better manner.

Three stars (I gave it an extra half a star because of all the Irish accents*)

*What? I like Irish accents!

Things that annoyed me aka I am a pedantic loser
Avast forward here be spoilers!



1. 3 minutes and four seconds
Paltrow: I took bottles of vodka on Friday. It was my birthday. You know that. I was having a party, and I was running late, so I borrowed some. I bought some more to replace it.

Paul: Not a lot of use to me when I have nothing to offer the executives who dropped by late Friday.

Parltrow: You could have told them you'd run out. It's popular stuff. Bullshit, bullshit. We're in P R. That's what we do, isn't it?
But you didn't do that, did you, Paul?
Paul: No.
Paltrow: So I'm out, am I? Well, this is just perfect.
Congratulations. You wanted me out for ages. Now you've done it. Very well done.
Paltrow: Theft. Pretty foolproof. OK. I'll go. I'll go.

This is an example of Gwyneth Paltrow having a conversation with no outside input, notice how not once did Paul say she was fired, she just stood there talking to herself, before storming out.




27 minutes 18 seconds.

Customer: what do you do when you’re not working in here ey?
Paltrow: well I get up at about six thirty am making and delivering sandwiches, in the West End during the day, before I come here about six a clock, and finish as midnight. After that if I have got any energy left I give my boyfriend a blowjob
Customer looks shocked

Well what is wrong here is obvious; at the start of the movie Paltrow pretty much fired herself for nothing. And here she overreacts to a mildly suggestive line, and says something shockingly inappropriate in front of a table full of people.


32 minutes

When Paltrow asks her hubby about a brandy glass, we are treated to a lesson in overacting. John Lynch goes in no uncertain terms ape shit. All the while Paltrow doesn’t look even slightly concerned that her partner just jumped to the conclusion that she was accusing him of cheating, based on her asking about a glass of brandy.

38 minutes and 50 seconds

John Hannah is reciting Monty Python verbatim at a dinner party, no explanation is given to why everyone is laughing rather than staring at him with icy hatred. I like to hypothesize that there it a dog doing something adorable behind him.

43 minutes and 53 seconds

Jeanne Tripplehorn calls Paltrow back to her building (Paltrow has been delivering Sandwiches to them), it seems that Paltrow inadvertently gave five people at the company food poisoning. When Paltrow arrives home John Lynch asks, “What’s wrong?” to which Paltrow states "I met Cruella Deville’s less kind sister”. What the shit? you are not good with this whole job thing. You poisoned five of her employee, she said she wouldn’t take things further (which would have caused your termination), she was a bit cold to you, yes, but given that you poisoned her co workers and had her stuck with their work I would say you were pretty damn lucky you entitled snob.


46 minutes and 30 seconds
John Lynch is leading everyone in what appears to be aerobics in a bar, you expect it to be explained why, but an explanation is not forth coming.


58 minutes 34 seconds.


The point when I became bored with the draw out gimmicky movie and played with a djay program, for a while




1 hour and 1 minute
The point when Tripplehorn outshone everyone by multiple magnitudes.





1 hour and 20 minutes


Really I have been fading in and out now, and my attention is going to be even more wavering as now I have entered wikipedia, and will be clicking links for hours, god forbid I get to a page on astronomy or war time history, or I will be here all night.


1 hour and 30 minutes

The movie is over, they had a chance to make a statement with the dual car crashes there, if they had killed Paltrow, it would have reinforced a theme of fate. But no there was just a mediocre end to a mediocre movie