Invasion of the body snatchers

There have been many, many adaptations of the 1955 book The Body Snatchers. They range from the Excellent, the good, the average to mediocre, all the way down to the eye gouging terrible. Some of the installments in the franchise are interesting as a litmus test for what the people of the time are afraid of. The series is about Pod People taking over human bodies turning them into emotionless drones. While the people who realize what is happening try to warn everyone/fight the aliens.

If you look at the first adaptation from 1956, you see a picture of a society terrified of communism, The film was made at a time when people thought it was quite possible for your friends and family to be communist spies ready to take over the world, and so whether it was intentional or not that paranoia and fear bled over into the film. The film can also be seen as a comment on McCarthyism's attempts to homogenize the American public. The movie ended on a happy note due to pressure by the studio, but originally the film featured a much more pessimistic ending. The film as a whole was very atypical of the period and stands as a 50s classic.

Philip Kaufman directed the 1978 version. In my opinion this is the best adaptation yet made. It was released during the Vietnam War and Watergate; all the while The Cold War was making nuclear annihilation a constant threat. As such the movie is a dark deeply paranoid take on the story. When you watch it you can see this deep seething distrust of the government and organized institutions as a whole and Leonard Nimoy (SPOCK!) plays a parody of the self-help guru that had emerged in this era.

Like this except because in the film he was a pod person so emotionless, cold and stiff...You know what, exactly like this.

The 2007 version, that featured Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig, was more effected by terrorism. And shared the dark paranoid vibe of Kaufman’s film. The movie ended in a bittersweet manner, with the Body Snatchers beaten, the film suggest that with all the violence, war and terrorism, we may have been better off as Pod People.

To understand why this movie has been made so many times, we have to attempt to understand why it scares us. The idea of losing that one thing that makes us people, that sets us apart from the masses our personality, scares us immensely; because in the end we are not what we look like, we are who we are.

Oh and sorry about the terrible Iron Man review.

Iron Man two review

Iron Man two review

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Iron Man two is a film directed by Jon Favreau, written by Justin Theroux and carried by Robert Downey Junior. Adapted from a Marvel comic of the same name the film stars: Robert Downey junior as Tony Stark the billionaire, debonair, playboy. The film begins by estimate a number of months after Tony revealed his identity at the end of the original, we are explained (via montage) that Iron Man is loved by all and helping to maintain world peace.

How Iron Man maintains peace is confusing though...Shooting people in the face with a laser is not exactly a peaceful tactic.

But the American military industrial complex is pressuring Tony to give up the suit and share its powers with the world, Tony brushes it off claiming no one will be able to replicate his suit in the next two or three decades. But loe and behold Mickey Rourke playing a Russian villain (who is by far the most sympathetic character) has replicated his design and made electric whips somehow. Also Tony is being poisoned by his suit, Hammer industries is trying to steal his suit and Nick Shield (Samuel L Jackson!) is trying to recruit Tony into the Avengers team.

Lets get one thing very clear, the main reason I liked this film is because Robert Downey Junior is amazing he is charming, funny, conflicted without being annoying and he gives a fantastic performance. Gwyneth Paltrow is decent as Pepper Pots (Who the hell named her character) and Scarlet Johansson serves her purpose. Mickey Rourke is very good; he certainly has mastered the Russian accent.

There are a few things that annoyed me, when Ivan shows up at a racecourse with his whips he reveals his super power to be, not getting killed by flying shrapnel from explosions of his own creation; he actually went to the trouble of building an arc reactor and doesn’t bother to attach any amour to his body (Somehow a poverty stricken intoxicated Russian builds an Arc Reactor in his shed, when it took Tony Stark like a month and an arms bizarre to build his.)

Oh no we are powerless to shoot at the completely exposed head, arms, shoulders, legs, and delicate looking machinery. Because he has electric whips

There are two villains Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) and Ivan, Justin Hammer is immediately shown as incompetent, and unable to match Stark in any way which causes no feelings of threat in the audience. And Ivan’s master plan is ridiculously obvious from a very early point.

The filming is competent enough, the editing leaves a bit to be desired and the pacing of the fights was not conducive to tension. Make no mistake the action is great, the CGI and explosions are not intrusive or excessively prominent. I think that the M rating holds it back, Samuel L Jackson doesn’t even get to use his catchphrase!

In this film there is a lot of foreshadowing of the coming Avengers/Captain America/Thor films, so some scenes just feel like adds for The Avengers.

Good luck marketing this to an international audience

It occurred to me while watching that if they had just had Downey in a cupboard with a camera and a microphone reading his lines I may well have walked away just as satisfied, I am not saying the level that the film relies on him is a bad thing I mean he is a fantastic actor, he just outshines every one else. The film is a very good effort that matches the original, Downey continues to be one of the more reliable actors in Hollywood and the action is acceptable.

Four stars

Is Richard Kelly worth a damn post Darko?

Is Richard Kelly worth a damn post Darko?

Behold its wonder!

Donnie Darko, was directed and written by Richard Kelly, and it is perhaps the greatest film I have ever seen, it was a pitch perfect exploration of time travel and teenage angst. It has one of the greatest soundtracks of any movie and perfectly captured a period in time. It utilized fantastic casting and acting to bring an incredibly effecting movie that will leaves you in a state of shock. I have watched it around six or seven times. Now Donnie Darko was the first feature length film by Richard Kelly and it's amazingness could have been caused by one of three things.

1. Donnie Darko was a lucky break, it was simply pop science and philosophy with a healthy dollop of angst put into a blender, That against all odds paid off for an inexperienced filmmaker, a good film that won’t be repeated.
2. Donnie Darko was the first outing of a cinematic genius that will take the world by storm churning out amazing cinema and will be known far and wide as a genius.
3. Aliens (I felt I needed three to justify a list)

As much as it makes me sad to say it the answer it seems is number one. As soon as Donnie Darko rose to a cult status the studios were more than happy to bankroll whatever Richard wanted, and that’s how we wound up with Southland Tales (2007).

Kill it with fire!

The film starred Sara Michele Gellar, Justin Timberlake, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Sean William Scott, Mandy Moore and Kevin Smith (and about twenty other b celebs). In short, Southland Tales was a load of sprawling incomprehensible shit. It had the distinct feel of Richard Kelly trying to replicate his prior success with Donnie Darko by stealing (and butchering) themes from it. I actually decided to bar judgment on Richard Kelly for Southland Tales because it was his first miss step and I had a theory that it was all a big middle finger to the MTV generation, and throughout the film it had been subtly taking the piss about republican stereotypes and product placement, and that the only comprehensible moment was purposefully an (actually quite well done) scene in which Justin Timberlake lip synchs to a Killers song.

Oh how wrong I was proved to be when Richard Kelly’s follow up The Box (2009) was released into cinemas.

Not James Marsden! First Buffy now Spike, who's next Willow?

The film was an adaptation of a Richard Matheson novel that had already been done much better by The Twilight Zone. The film again was a load of drivel that was manufactured from the ground up to be ‘deep’ but pulled that off about as well as ‘Deck Dogz’.

He also wrote the tragic Domino which featured Keira Knightley trying to act tough.

Really you saw this and thought 'you know what, she would be good as a bounty hunter'.

Domino was a fairly run of the mill retrograde junk; Keira was so woefully miss cast it almost laughable (perhaps the movie's one saving grace). If you ever watch it there is one scene in particular that is so out of place in the context and feel of the movie it completely takes you out of the moment (you will know what one). But what was plain baffling about Domino was this quote by Richard Kelly. "Domino might be one of the most subversive films released by a major studio since Fight Club". In what way is this film even slightly subversive....because it puts forward the proposition that the ludicrous story actually happened, and thus is an attempt to legitimise deceit and lying, which is already rife in any film with 'based on a true story' written on it?

It is quite clear to me that Richard Kelly indeed does fall into category number one. Every movie post Darko has been a desperate attempt to remake what made Donnie Darko great. He also lessened the impact of the original Donnie Darko with the horrible Directors Cut, and the ‘Philosophy Of Time Travel’ book. He is emulating David Lynch quite a bit, and while he did capture the feel in Donnie Darko, Southland Tales failed in an attempt to be Lynchian for the same reason Twin Peaks failed when David Lynch stopped directing in the middle of the second season. If I had the opportunity to give a bit of advice to Richard Kelly it would be this Stop trying to recreate Donnie Darko and stop trying to follow in the footsteps of David Lynch.

His completely insane footsteps

Internet opiates part four

13. Stephen Fry’s podgrams. Stephen Fry evokes a number of deeply troubling emotions in me, but we are going to ignore those for now and focus on the positives. Stephen Fry is one of the most intelligent celebrities around he is an Oxford Educated Renaissance man. He is amusing and interesting; he has a flair for the English language that is rivalled in few places. His podcasts are available at the Itunes store and each one of them is a work of brilliance, he is a truly amazing orator. His Twitter feed is also quite interesting.

14. Any and all whiny teenage emo blogs (The linked example Blog is dead). There is nothing more sad, amusing, infuriating! than one of these angsty little blogs make believing that they are the soul enlightened ones of the universe, looking in on a world filled with mindless sheeple all wandering around as zombies in a cruel conformist world. These annoying children who think that just because they have a keyboard, a cursory command of the English language and a basic idea of nihilism gleamed from the lyrics of their favorite metal/hardcore/slashcore/thrashmetal/wellhaploozacore (which we are to conformed to the harsh society to understand) are superior to us conformed masses. These stunning valiant warriors who go against the norm by dressing the same as all their friends, listening to the same music as all their friends and showing the same disdain for anyone who isn’t a member of their immature little club…. just like all there friends, Shine on you crazy star!

15.Stumbleupon. Stumbleupon is an Internet tool that…as far as I am concerned works by magic. But because I clearly must elaborate on that, Stumbleupon allows you to rate websites based on your interests and if you click the stumble button at their homepage, or on the toolbar (if you download it) you will be taken to a random site that matches your interests. Despite my initial skepticism it won me over, it is much better than scouring the Internet and it is very addictive. If I had one complaint occasionally it stumbles me into chan bullshit but those are few and far between.

I know probably no one will be interested but I found this map of Native American territory through Sumbleupon, so if your as into history and/or Native American culture I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

16. Surviving The World. This is hard to classify, it is a humorous message, picture or graph on a chalkboard. I know doesn’t sound thrilling BUT it really can be amusing sometimes and the writer seems to have a very different and insightful view of everyday life. There are a lot of history jokes and references, which is good for me.

Scientology what you didn't know

Scientology is a religion created by the science fiction writer L Ron Hubbard. The church has courted controversy at every turn and boasts many celebrity members including Tom Cruise. Recently Germany banned scientology and labeled it organized crime, many people say this is religious intolerance, but just read this article and then make up your own mind.

Scientology is a moneymaker L Ron Hubbard was quoted many times as saying ‘the only real way to make big money is to start a religion’. And now thanks to his wisdom for a price you could reach the highest levels of existence and according to the church develop superpowers! And you would be surprised at what affordable prices this knowledge comes at. For as little as three hundred and eighty thousand dollars you could reach operating Thetan level eight, its about this point where you find out you are in a religion about aliens.

Its about what now!?

Members of the church are told to shut off all communications with family members and friends who leave the church or are deemed SP (Suppressive personalities); the idea of shunning is extremely cult like.

On the subject of Suppressive personalities, if you are considered a SP (suppressive personality) you are labeled fair game by the church, and they will then do everything they can to ruin your life. Just look at Operation Freakout, Paulette cooper is an American author and a critic of the Church Of Scientology, due to her criticism, the Church harassed her and on one occasion sent forged bomb threats purportedly by Cooper. But it gets much worse. Operation Freakout was there plan to get her incarcerated, in a jail or a mental institution or at least ‘Hit her so hard she drops her attacks’, the plan was as follows.

First, a woman was to imitate Paulette Cooper’s voice and make telephone threats to Arab consulates in New York. Second, a threatening letter was to be mailed to an Arab consulate in such a fashion that it would appear to have been done by Paulette Cooper (who is Jewish). Third, a Scientologist volunteer was to impersonate Paulette Cooper at a Laundromat and threaten the current President Gerald Ford and then the Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. A second Scientologist would thereafter inform the FBI of the threat.

Jesus Christ!

When the FBI raided a scientology office in 1977 they found documentation relating to the operation, and Paulette sued the church.

These terror tactics are not isolated incidents you can see it in video after video after video, they all use the same technique there is literally dozens of video of them using the ‘bull baiting’ technique of not letting the person talk, repeating personal insults and saying ‘what’s your crimes?’ using constant repetition.

When a BBC journalist tried to do a documentary on the church, they didn’t send a PR man to put a smiley face on everything, they sent someone to stalk him and scream at him. Check out the video.

You may be saying so some followers are crazy, well actually the church TRAINS them to do these things just read that then watch this. Also this video shows the brainwashing techniques and the argument tactics of followers. Not to mention the staff are kept in hellish conditions being completely controlled by the church.

And these tactics go right to the centre of the church, just look at this extract from a article written by L Ron Hubbard.

Attack the attacker

(1) Spot who is attacking us.

(2) Start investigating them promptly for felonies or worse using own professionals, not outside agencies.

(3) Double curve our reply by saying we welcome an investigation of them.

(4) Start feeding lurid, blood, sex, crime actual evidence on the attackers to the press.

Said by L Ron Hubbard

—Attacks on Scientology, "Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter," 25 February 1966

The church has attacked psychiatry claiming that it is fraudulent and does great harm; they have co-opted the Holocaust and have tried to say psychiatrists were responsible for it, and they have pretty much attributed all the worlds woes to psychiatry (including the 9/11 terrorist attacks). Look at this video in which a high-ranking scientologist gives a speech on how they plan to destroy psychiatry and over the course of the lecture advocates violence towards practitioners.

And Tom Cruise himself has gone on talk shows to criticise psychiatry and in the process reveal himself to not know what he is talking about. What the church wants is to take away the credibility of psychiatry and that is horrible, it has only recently that it has becomes socially acceptable for a man to suffer from depression or for a woman to have post partum depression. It wants to take away all the significant progress and achievements we have made in the field of psychiatry.

Even so this is the largest achievement we have made in psychiatry

We have yet to broach one of the most controversial events in the church's history Lisa Macpherson. On November eighth 1995 Lisa Macpherson was involved in a vehicular collision, she attempted to take off her clothes at the scene of the accident, in response paramedics took her to a hospital. After getting there she checked herself out because she did not want to be given psychiatric care.

She then went to the scientologist run Flag Land base; she was isolated in a room.‘care logs’ detail the seventeen days she was kept there, she was incoherent often violent she bruised her feet and hands banging at the walls. She repeatedly refused food, and on four occasions staff attempted to force-feed her.

On December 5th 1995 she was ‘breathing laboriously’ she was rushed to David Minkoff’s hospital (a scientologist doctor), on their way to his clinic they passed four other hospitals. Lisa arrived at the hospital with no vital signs, she was declared dead after resuscitation attempts failed to heed results. Scientologists called her family and said she had died of “Meningitis of a blood blot”. An autopsy concluded that she had died of dehydration and it was noted she had cockroach bites all over her body. Fuck this is depressing here’s a picture of a kitten to cheer you up.

The church was never credible from the very beginning it was built on a foundation of lies let me just expose some of the most shocking and or funny for you.

L Ron wrote a self help book called 'All you want to know about radiation' On the blurb of the book L Ron claimed to be both a Medical doctor, and a nuclear physicist! Well actually in reality he dropped out of the one college course he ever took in nuclear physics, and he eventually dropped out of college all together because his grades were abysmally low.

In 1965 a panel of Australian scientists got together and examined the book, they released this statement

"The Board heard evidence from a highly qualified radiologist who has made a special study of radiation and its effects. He said that Hubbard's knowledge of radiation, as displayed by his writings in All About Radiation, was the 'sort of knowledge that perhaps a boy who has read Intermediate Physics might, with a lot of misapprehensions and lack of understanding, demonstrate' ... " SNAP!

They preceded to make yo momma jokes about Hubbard all day (Editors note:source?)

As noted previously the church is out to destroy psychiatry, here is what L Ron Hubbard (the founder of scientology) said on the subject.

"A psychiatrist today has the power to (1) take a fancy to a woman (2) lead her to take wild treatment as a joke (3) drug and shock her to temporary insanity (4) incarnate [sic] her (5) use her sexually (6) sterilize her to prevent conception (7) kill her by a brain operation to prevent disclosure. And all with no fear of reprisal. Yet it is rape and murder ... We want at least one bad mark on every psychiatrist in England, a murder, an assault, or a rape or more than one ... This is Project Psychiatry. We will remove them."

from the confidential memo "Project Psychiatry" (February 22, 1966).

As you can see from that L Ron had both a firm understanding of Psychiatric relationships and a burning hatred for it. His religion was all about not taking drugs and self will etc, Well his son L Ron Jnr said this under oath

"I have personal knowledge that my father regularly used illegal drugs including amphetamines, barbiturates and hallucinogens. He regularly used cocaine, peyote and mescaline."

It's no mean feat to have a drug collection that would put Hunter S Thompson to shame

And he once sent a letter to his wife Mary Sue in which he said, "I'm drinking lots of rum and popping pinks and grays." The pinks and grays one would assume are uppers and downers. Now keep in mind this is from the person who started a cult whose whole central concept was that you should not take drugs.

L Ron Hubbard once claimed that the Blackfoot Indian tribe had made him a blood brother of their tribe…when he was four years old, well about that L Ron lived nearly one hundred Miles away from the nearest Blackfoot reservation and that tribe never performed the act of ‘Blood Brotherhood'.

L Ron Hubbard served in the military (where he never saw combat) he wrote about it in one of his books, here is what he said

"Blinded with injured optic nerves, and lame with physical injuries to hip and back, at the end of World War II, I faced an almost non-existent future. My service record states: 'This officer has no neurotic or psychotic tendencies of any kind whatsoever,' but it also states 'permanently disabled physically. And so there came a further blow--I was abandoned by family and friends as a supposedly hopeless cripple and a probable burden upon them for the rest of my days. Yet I worked my way back to fitness and strength in less than two years, using only what I knew about Man and his relationship to the universe. I had no one to help me; what I had to know I had to find out. And it's quite a trick studying when you cannot see.”

From My philosophy by L Ron Hubbard

How inspirational! It's just unfortunate it is all lies, the church has made many claims about L Ron's service record, but the truth is (Despite there claims he was decorated) he was demoted and had this said about him by his superior officer "Consider this officer lacking in the essential qualities of judgment, leadership and cooperation...Not considered qualified for command or promotion at this time. Recommend duty on a large vessel where he can be properly supervised."

And as for those crippling injuries, he never had anything even remotely similar happen to him, although he did seek treatment using his military perks for malaria, ulcers, conjunctivitis, headaches, depression, more conjunctivitis, bursitis, foot problems, weakening vision, psychological trauma from hardcore combat, arthritis and bursitis. Although I admire the idea that he can spin 'weaning vision' into "blinded with injured optic nerves" is pretty admirable in a strange way.

So there you have it Scientology is in my opinion a dangerous organisation I have outlined a small percentage of the churches crimes, but it should be apparent that the actions of the German government, were justified when faced with an aggressive anti-semetic, murderous, cult.

Who the hell wears an Ascot?

Internet Opiates Part Three

Internet Opiates Part Three

9. Attainable minds. I don’t mean specifically Attainable minds, I mean every similar conspiracy theory website, that can impart hours of entertainment. The vast majority of conspiracy theorists can be won over by a couple of official looking pie charts and some out of context information, and this blog and its following shows that. An honourable mention goes to Exit Mundie, I see EM as slightly more legitimate than your average conspiracy blog, it is a large collection of entertaining end of the world scenarios, it is scientific without being a slog (The best ones).

Official looking charts can say anything and still look convincing

10. Anything written by David Wong. David Wong is the Editor of Cracked.com, he is also the author of one of the funniest and best horror novels every written, “John Dies At The End” (I will talk about that book in another post sometime), Wong can construct this fear and foreboding in you, he is the only author I have ever read that is capable of summoning fear and laughter at the same time. His writings are insightful and witty. To this day Inside the Monkeysphere and ten things atheists can and must agree on remain among the best essays I have ever read.

11. Wikipedia. I love Wikipedia muchly. It is such a wonderfully interconnected multifaceted beast, I start off reading about Will Ferrell then twenty minutes later I am reading about sea gypsies, another hour and I am reading about string theory, another two hours and I am onto exploding sheep, and then when I am looking at list of renaissance art dealing with skunks on tricycles, I realize day has broken and I am going to be not at all well for school.

12. Free Republic. Calm down, and don’t flame, I am not a rabidly racist republican. I just find this site hilarious the level of cognitive dissidence and stupidity of these people, is definitely something worthy of gawking at. It is kept rather....retarded by the fact that the owner Jim Robinson bans anyone he disagrees with, so you get people with the same backwards views bouncing there racism off of each other to create an echo chamber of stupidity.

I know this makes me feel patriotic, nothing spells patriotism like an Eagle grinding its crotch against a flag.

Hilarious things in Twilight

After my post about sexism in Twilight I decided to make a post just detailing some hodgepodge things I found hilarious about the books.

I am not the first person to point this out but. Here is a description of Bella from the book.

“I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine. I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete"

And now here is Meyer's description of Bella

"very fair-skinned, with long, straight, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped—a wide forehead with a widow's peak, large, wide-spaced eyes, prominent cheekbones, and then a thin nose and a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. Her lips are a little out of proportion, a bit too full for her jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker than her hair and more straight than they are arched. She's five foot four inches tall, slender but not at all muscular, and weighs about 115 pounds.”

Now what is wrong with that you may be asking yourselves? Well here is a picture of stepheney Meyer.

That's right she was describing herself, the book is pretty clearly self-insertion fiction, but this? This is almost to good to be true.

Then there is the name Bella Swan, Bella meaning beautiful (the ugly duckling get it?).

Then there is the time Stephen King said that Meyer 'cant write worth a damn', then something amazing happened Twilight fans on the internet began accusing Stephen King of being jealous of Meyer's success....STEPHEN KING! This is the man who has written dozens of best selling novels, the person who is basically the most well known horror author of all time, the man who has inspired the movie that formed the cornerstone of modern horror (Stanley Kubrick’s Masterpiece 'The Shining'),

And on top of that there is no shortage of hilarious quotes.

"traitor tears were on my cheeks, betraying me."

*clap* clap* *clap*

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

Jesus Wept

"'Aren't you hungry?' he asked, distracted. 'No.' I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - full of butterflies."

*groan* I think my head just exploded.

"I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry."

That is just about the creepiest thing I have ever heard, "while watching you sleep", he says it in such a manner of fact manner, like its something normal.

"This is the skin of a killer!"

"It gets easier. After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved"

He's a keeper

"He was both dazzling and dazzled."

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